I know that when the day comes that we meet again, we will be total strangers.
I know that if ever I see your face in a crowded place, my heart will still skip a beat but it is not because you are irresistible but because you are a ghost in my past and seeing you in the present just feels so wrong. I know that if ever I took a glimpse of you taking a glimpse of me, I will hastily look away because I don’t want you to know that I remember you, I don’t want you to give the satisfaction that I still think of you even when it is so long time ago. I know that if ever you try to engage into a conversation with me, I will pretend like I have something very important to attend to because I could not take having small talks with you when I had all nights back then to exchange thoughts and wildest dreams with you. I know that if ever I see you again, I will pretend like I don’t miss you at all and that you are just nothing but a character in my past that was meant to be forgotten.
Just so you know, I hate the thought of us being strangers again. I hate it that even when our journeys collide one day, we will just pretend that we are just nothing in the past. I hate it that we could never retrieve what we had back then and I hate it that we have to act like there is nothing that happened at all. I hate it that we will be just familiar faces or maybe we won’t, because sooner, time will change all our features and even our looks will become alien to each other. I hate it that after all this time, I still want us to be friends. I still want us to have something and I hate it that somehow, I still wish that we were never more than friends so that we are still friends up to now. I hate it because I know that no matter how many unsent letters or articles I have written about you, you will never come back into my life the way you used to because you will just be a stranger.
So maybe if ever we meet again, I will just look at you and think of all the things that we have been. All those late-night talks and holding hands and “baby I will always be here.” Maybe, if ever we meet again, I will just act like you are nothing but an ordinary stranger but I know that my heart will burst as I do so. Maybe, if ever we meet again, we will just both pretend that we don’t know each other at all but I know that we still remember everything and I hope somehow, you have never let gone of all the memories. I hope that somehow, there is still a part of me with you because a part of you will always be in my heart and even when we are strangers now, we still have the memories and no one could ever change that.